


Two Idiots in Love Throughout History

by BobTheCactus11



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Angels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Arguments, Confessions, Demons, Drunk Kissing, Drunken Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Gift Giving, Gifts, History, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, M/M, Marriage, Nonbinary Character(s), Other, Propasals, The bartender is Crowley's wingman sorry I don't make the rules, Two Idots in Love, break ups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-07 20:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19216666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BobTheCactus11/pseuds/BobTheCactus11
Summary: All the times throughout history that Crowley was absolutely smitten for a certain angel.Or, a bunch of different chapters concerning my favorite pair in different points in time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first work in this fandom so go easy on me, alright? Also, Aziraphale will be using they/them pronouns as it's one of my headcanons, just to clear that up in case you get confused

It had happened at 10 at night on a Thursday.

There wasn't any grand gestures, no eleborate plans, hell, not even a ring. 

They had been sitting in Aziraphale's bookshops back room, sipping wine from what Aziraphale told him was the early 1800's. Certainly not the oldest wine they owned but they had said something about wanting to save some of it so Crowley never asked about bringing it out. 

At the time, Crowley had been sprawled on Aziraphale's couch with one leg up on the armrest with the other hanging off the couch and his back pressed up against a pillow propped up on the opposite armrest. Neither of them has spoken for a good amount of minutes, though neither were unbothered by the silence. It was comfortable, anyway. 

Crowley, in fact, was rather enjoying the oppiruinity to be able to watch his angel. He has been for the last 10 minutes and if they noticed they certainly didn't say anything about it. And that's when it happened. Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the way Aziraphale looked at that moment, but before Crowley could even think about the words about to come out of his mouth, he said them.

"We should get married. Even if it is a dumb human thing I think it'd be something fun to do on a night like this." He had said before taking a sip of wine.

Aziraphale had choked on theirs. They cleared their throat. "Dear, are you sure that isn't the wine talking?" They had asked. It's not that they disliked the idea, and Crowley certainly didn't look all too tipsy, but it was always safe to ask. 

"And what if it is? I think, that all my best ideas, come when I'm at least a little tipsy." 

Aziraphale had blinked once, then twice, and said the following. "Well, it wouldn't be a bad idea." 

And so the two of them had done exactly that. Crowley had quickly realized that after a quick internet search that the only place you could get married at was a church, and a courthouse. After a small bit of bickering, and since the courthouse was closed, that had decided on the church. 

Crowley had stopped outside the door and looked to Aziraphale to ask the question. But before he could even open his mouth, Aziraphale had sighed and said, "Yes, dear, I'll carry you."

Crowley found it a rather fun experience to walk into the church with Aziraphale carrying him bridal style and ask the rightfully shocked priest if they could get married on a Thursday at 10 at night. 

And get married they did. Aziraphale insisted on carrying Crowley the entire time, including during the vows the two made up on the spot. Crowley wouldn't stop snickering quietly the entire time and Aziraphale had to remind him to hush up because they were trying to give their vows for gods sake. 

It had taken twenty minutes for the both of them to get through their vows because of him.

The priest looked at the two idiots who came to get married and, with a slight sigh, said the usual, "You may now k-"

But he hadn't been able to finish his sentence because Crowley leaned up and kissed Aziraphale before he could. It was a bit sloppy but neither of them cared really. 

The priest then had them fill out a small amount of paperwork, and that was that. They were married. 

\------------

The two had been married for nearly a year now and were rather enjoying themselves. After that fateful night, the next morning Crowley suggested going and buying rings. So now they both had gleaming gold banded rings with each of their respective choice of gems. Crowley got Ruby with Diamonds, and Aziraphale got Sapphire with Diamonds as well. It had cost Crowley a lot more than he had originally thought, but bought the rings with a slight disapproving grumble anyway.

And now he was currently in his flat watering and reprimanding his plants. "Good to see that all of you pathetic pricks decided to grow better today. Nobody's being exterminated today at least. And all of you better keep it that way." He hissed as he spritzed water around the room on to the plants. He quickly turned on his heels to look at the plant Aziraphale had bought him a few months ago. "Except for you. You're doing great, alright? Keep it up." 

He found that he couldn't yell at anything his angel bought him. Because what if they found out and got sad that he was yelling at the plant they bought him? 

But what he just thought rose another inquiry. 'His angel'. When did he start thinking of Aziraphale as his?

He might not remember it, but I'm God, and so, I do.

It wasn't in The Garden of Eden, it wasn't in the 1900's, it wasn't even remotely romantic. It was in France during the bubonic plague.


	2. France!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A problem has arisen in 14th century France...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I'm here with the France chapter! In all reality, this is a completely new plot for this one since I had to rewrite it, so I hope you enjoy!

Crowley found 14th century France to not be his favorite. He did not enjoy the fashion all too much, he did not enjoy the hygiene all too much, and honestly it was a bloody mess.

The plague did not help.

Though that was his fault.  
Yes, he had started the biggest epidemic in human history and let me tell you, things did not go well. 

At that moment in time, he had been in the middle of town square looking around at all the chaos he caused with a pleased grin. Bodies were piled high and due for burning, homes were shut with plague doctors running in out. Not to mention all the rat trappers and rat themselves scuttling across the street. As infected people passed him they stared at him in disbelief. No healthy person would be seen in these parts. But he paid them no mind.

The epidemic had been going on for a couple of months now, and Hell was praising him to no end. It felt *good* getting recognition.

One particularly seemingly frustrated plague doctor stormed out of one of the homes, slamming the door shut. They looked around before their eyes landed on Crowley and they marched over to him.

The person got in his face beside speaking. "Do *not* tell me you did this." The voice demanded, muffled under the mask. Though it did sound familiar.

"Can't say that I did." He replied nonchalantly. 

The person groaned and tore the mask off their face, revealing a very angry Aziraphale was underneath. "Crowley. Do not tell me that you let loose that rat you said you were keeping." Aziraphale's voice was harsh, very different from their usual softer and kinder tone. Ah, of course it was Aziraphale under there. Of course the angel would never pass up the opportunity to help others.

Crowley let out a bark of laughter. "Oh! Aziraphale! Great to see you too." He said sarcastically. "And what if I did?" He asked cheekily, smirking at the angel who glared with narrowed eyes.

"Crowley! It is *not* a laughing matter. You've killed thousands!" 

"Mhm, I know. I'm a demon, angel, what do you expect me to do?"

Aziraphale opened their mouth to rebuddle but fell short, closing their mouth in defeat. "Fine. But I really thought that for once-"

"Don't say it." Crowley said in a warning tone.

"That you would be-"

"Angel, don't." He hissed.

"A *nice* person!"

Crowley groaned. "And you bloody said it! I'm a demon! Get it through your skull that I'm not nice, I'll never *be* nice, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Well I thought that you would feel *some* sympathy for once."

"I'm not supposed to!" Crowley snapped and took a step forward, bearing his teeth. He paused when he noticed he had actually startled Aziraphale into taking a step back. 

Crowley's face fell for a moment. "Are you scared of me?" He asked, tone slightly softer than last time. He hadn't meant to scare them, he really didn't. He just wanted them to shut up about him being nice.

Aziraphale let out a huff and straightened their posture. "No. Of course not." They insisted, but Crowley could smell the fear on them the same way an angel can tell love in certain places.

He didn't think fear suited his angel well.

And let's pause right here. This is the first time that Crowley had ever thought of Aziraphale as his. He didn't even notice that he did it. Now back to the story.

He felt like he should apologize, but he couldn't. Apologies weren't in his vocabulary, or any demons vocabulary for that matter.

Aziraphale watched him before they spoke. "You were an angel. You could be nice if you just tried." They said softly yet harshly before they turned to leave.

"Angel, wait!" He called after them and went to follow but they were already gone.

He wouldn't see his angel for some time after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> As per usual, all constructive criticism is appreciated.


	3. 1990's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley takes Aziraphale to a certain bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're looking for the France chapter, it's been moved to the second chapter! Go read it if you missed it.
> 
> But anyway. Here we are with a new chapter about the 1990's

Ah yes, the 1990's. Aziraphale remembered it for a lot of things. Sometimes they'll read a book with an inaccurate fact and they'll email the author about it with the correct fact instead. But the thing they remember the most from the 1990's is the first time Crowley kissed them sober. Yes, that's the thing they find the most memorable about the entire decade. Maybe even the entire century.

Aziraphale had been sitting in their bookshop reading their latest addition with a nice cup of tea next to them. They took the cup to take a sip when the phone rang, almost causing them to spill tea all over themselves. Which thankfully only a small bit did. After a quick miracle, they put their things down and answered the phone. 

"Hello, sorry, but we're clo-"

"I know you're closed, angel, alright?"

"Oh, Crowley. It's good to hear from you. How have you been?" They asked, a smile on their face from hearing his voice. The two hadn't spoken in near a month and Aziraphale was guessing he was asleep the entirety of it.

"I've been pretty good. Y'know, causing havoc on the human race. And don't say I don't, because I know you will. But that's not why I called. I was wondering if you'd like to come down to this bar with me."

"Hm, I suppose I could. What's it called?"

"Humans been calling it a 'gay bar', mostly because it's for gay humans."

"Crowley, neither of us are male."

"Yeah, maybe we aren't. But we look plenty like we do. Besides, humans are far too constricting on their labels, honestly. But I still think it'd be a fun way for us to catch up properly." 

Aziraphale sighed, but it was accompanied with a smile. "Alright. I'll come. But don't count on me staying too long."

After a quick exchange of the address, Crowley hung up. 

\-----

When they got there Crowley was waiting outside for them. "Wearing the exact same thing still?" He called out when he saw them approaching.

Aziraphale narrowed their eyes slightly at him. "Well I'm sorry that I'm happy with what I'm wearing. What would you suggest?" They asked in a curt tone.

Crowley only shrugged nonchalantly as they began to walk inside, leading Aziraphale by the arm. "Bit of an outlandish idea. You could, I dunno, buy another outfit maybe?" 

"Why would I? There's plenty other things I can spend cash on than clothes. Not everyone needs an entire room dedicated to outfits" They replied, which earned a soft sigh from Crowley.

"Y'know what? We can talk about your horrendous wardrobe later." He paused and rolled his eyes at Aziraphale's glare. "Oh don't give me that look! You dress like it's the good ole fashioned times." He said in a puffy western accent. "Come on. Let's get inside." He said as the two walked in fully.

The bar was not crowded, but there was still plenty of people seated at tables and at the bar. Music was playing but it was not nearly as loud as it usually was considering it was what the bar called 'quiet night'. Crowley wouldn't admit it, but he picked tonight specifically as he knew Aziraphale didn't enjoy loud places. One couple was making out in the back and Crowley barely batted an eye. In fact, when they sat down at the bar, the bartender not only knew him, but immediately striked up conversation when the two sat down. 

"Ah, so you finally brought the guy you never shut up about?" He had asked with a teasing smile. Aziraphale did get slightly flustered, he would admit. But not to Crowley, definitely not. 

Crowley gave him a smirk. "Joseph, we aren't there just yet. But if we ever do, I'll tell you." He had said. Aziraphale wasn't listening as they were still considering if the bartender, who was apparently named Joseph, thought they were a couple. 

Joseph only nodded knowingly and asked for their orders. Once they arrived he left the pair alone.

"How often do you talk about me to warrant a comment like that?" 

Crowley shrugged. "Enough." He had said simply when he meant 'all the time'.

"And how often do you come here? You and him seem like friends." They commented as they grabbed their glass and took a small sip of wine.

"I'm a demon, I don't make friends with humans. I make them miserable." He insisted, peering at Aziraphale over the rim of his sunglasses.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear." They said with a small smile.

By the time it hit 12 they weren't even tipsy, even though they've been there for 3 hours. Crowley looked to the time and blew out some air. "Well would you look at that. Already midnight and we're barely drunk." 

Aziraphale chuckled as they finished only their second cup. "Well guess we don't always need to get drunk to have a nice time, hm?" 

Crowley paused. "I do prefer drinking, but yeah, this works too. Think we should head out?" 

"Mm, yes, I think we should." They agreed. 

So they went and paid the bartender, who shot Crowley a wink and a thumbs up. Crowley only rolled his eyes in amusement and bid him goodnight.

They stepped out into the outdoors, which was chill compared to the warm and cozy bar. Crowley turned to his angel. "Think we can keep a bit more in touch this decade?"

"Not my fault you slept through most of the century, but yes, I hope we can." 

"Alright then. Want a ride home? And don't look at me like that." He said when Aziraphale gave him The Look.

"Crowley you shouldn't even be trusted with a car. I can't keep track of all the times you've almost hit someone with your reckless driving." Crowley made a talking motion the entire time with his hand as they talked. "And do not disregard what I'm sa-! Oh forget it." They huffed in defeat and made their way to the car. 

Crowley smirked in victory and got in the driver's seat. 

The ride surprisingly did not have any music playing for the entirety of it because the two filled it with chat about some of the aged wines Aziraphale owned and when to use them. When they pulled up to the bookshop Aziraphale got out and bid Crowley a goodnight and that they would call him tomorrow.

Crowley watched them walk up the steps of their precious book shop, definitely not checking out their ass, nope, not at all, before he called for them. "Hey! Angel! Come 'ere for a second."

Aziraphale walked back down the steps with a slight huff and met at the car window. "Yes, Crowley?"

Crowley motioned for them to come closer until they were only inches apart. Neither of them spoke, or breathed even, as they looked at each other before Crowley leaned in and kissed them.

It was soft and definitely full of longing, as if he was trying to lean out of the car to reach them even more. Aziraphale kissed back despite himself with just as much longing as him. Oh how he wanted this. Oh how wrong he knew this was. 

They would be lying if they said it wasn't the best thing to happen to them. They've kissed before, when drunk and upset at one another. Usually they didn't speak for a prolonged period of time afterwards too. But this was different, they knew it.

Crowley pulled away rather quickly after that. "Goodnight angel." He murmured hastily before screeching away from the curb, leaving Aziraphale on the sidewalk with their swirling thoughts, wondering what that meant (spoiler, he's in love with you Az).

Neither mentioned it ever again. Not when they called the next morning, or even a week later. At this moment in time, they never spoke abot it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoying reading this as I did writing it! 
> 
> Any and all constructive criticism is appreciated.


	4. 2019, 4 months after the not-pocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley surprised Aziraphale with a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I tried to write a different chapter but it just wasn't working so we aren't doing it. Hope you enjoy this one, though!

Demons don't give people gifts.

That's just how things are. If you give someone a gift, that means you like them, and demons aren't supposed to like anyone.

So when Crowley gives Aziraphale a present, they don't know what to think.

Aziraphale looks to Crowley in question, whose arms were crossed and not exactly making eye contact with them. "Are you going to open it or keep staring at it like a deer in headlights?" Crowley asks finally, tone impatient and a bit harsh. Maybe because he's flustered about this entire ordeal but he'd never admit something like that.

"Oh, yes, I suppose I should.." Aziraphale trails off near the end as they look down to the box curiously. It was a simple brown box with holes in the sides, and there was definitely something inside there that's alive no doubt. 

They glance once more at Crowley and then back to the box before they open it. Inside there was a bird. A macaw to be more exact. Inside was also a newspaper bedding, food, water, and a toy. 

Aziraphale gasped only slightly before they broke into a smile. "Did you-?" Aziraphale didn't bother to finish the sentence. They leaned in and offered their hand to the bird. Said bird seemed slightly weary before stepping on to their hand and moving to their wrist so it could be lifted out. It soon settled on their forearm.

"Picked it up from a pet shop 'round Central London. It's used to being handled so it shouldn't bite or run away from you if you try to pick it up. Suppose you'll need to buy a cage and the rest of it but I thought you'd might like it, considering you live alone in the bookshop and might want some company.." Crowley explained with a hint of nervousness to his voice, still not entirely looking at them. He had no idea what Aziraphale might say about the bird considering they've never mentioned having a liking for birds. And maybe this had been an impulse buy but his point still stands.

"I love him," Aziraphale breathed in an awestruck tone, watching the bird fondly as it looked around the bookshop.

"Really?" Crowley asked as he finally made eye contact with his angel, straightening his posture a bit.

Aziraphale nodded as they tore their gaze away from the bird. "Yes! Absolutely!" They assured with a smile. "Thank you, Crowley. How very kind of you.." They trailed off slightly again as they went back to watching the bird as it started to waddle up his arm.

Crowley only shrugged slightly as he cast his gaze to the side momentarily. "Well, y'know, just thought you'd might like it... Are you going to give it a name?"

Aziraphale faltered only slightly. "Well, I wouldn't want to get too *attatched*-" They said as if they weren't already attatched. 

Crowley interrupted. "Ah, don't you worry about that. Made sure that you would get something that lived a little longer than most, decided on a macaw because they live around 80 years and a bit more."

This only caused Aziraphale to break into a bigger smile than before. "Oh, Crowley, that's very thoughtful of you-"

Crowley shuddered. "Please, refrain from the compliments." He drawled. 

"- so I guess he does need a name." They continued, unbothered by the interruption. They gave the bird a once over before they gave their answer. "I think his name should be Charlie."

"Charlie?" Crowley asked, pulling a face. "Out of any name you choose 'Charlie'?" 

Aziraphale seemed a bit ruffled by that. "I just like the name is all. Something wrong with that?" They asked, looking to Crowley.

He only smirked and gave a shrug. "Whatever you say, angel." 

Aziraphale smiled fondly at him before focusing their attention on Charlie. They glanced around the room. "For tonight, I'll miracle you some things, hm?" Aziraphale said to Charlie, who cawed in response. "Right then." They said and snapped their fingers, the basic necessities Charlie would need being miracled into existence near a bookshelf. Charlie flew off to perch on top of his cage.

Crowley found Aziraphale talking to the bird adorable and watched with a soft smile before they looked to him. He wiped it off his face. "Thought we said we wouldn't use our miracles so often?" Crowley said from his spot leaning against the wall.

"It's only to get him through the night." Aziraphale insisted. "Besides, I wouldn't want him tearing up my bookcases."

"Fair point."

Aziraphale let out a pleased sigh, a small smile still on their face. "Thank you, love, really. I don't see why you insist on saying you're not at least a little kind." 

"Makes my skin crawl so I'd rather not, really." He replied as if being revolted by the thought of being kind was normal.

"Well you are." Aziraphale said as they made their way over to him and kissed his cheek. Crowley still seemed startled by the fact that the could both *do* that now. Even after three months he always reacted the same to the angel showing him affection. Not that he didn't like it.

Aziraphale simply smiled at him and Crowley couldn't help but smile back. 

"You're way too charming. Should be bloody illegal." He said finally.

"You say that a lot." They replied like they did every time he said that. 

"'Cuz it's true." 

Aziraphale only hummed as they snaked their arms around his waist and leaned into him without breaking eye contact, fixing him with a hopeful look.

Crowley chuckled as he leaned down to kiss them, Aziraphale returning it happily.

"If you want a kiss you can just ask. Don't need to give me puppy eyes for that." He pointed out.

"Yes, I could, but it takes less time this way." Aziraphale replied.

Crowley could only smile because he really was the luckiest demon alive, want he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Any and all constructive criticism blah blah blah.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter! You will be able to hear all about France in the next one, so don't worry.
> 
> Any and all constructive criticism is appreciated.


End file.
